Growing up, I watched my dad handle stress the same way he handled everything else: silently, stoically, and with a stiff upper lip. When his company downsized and he lost his job, he just nodded, shook hands, and never talked about it again. Meanwhile, my younger cousin posts TikToks about her therapy sessions and hosts “crying parties” with her friends when life gets tough.

Two generations, two completely different approaches to dealing with life’s challenges. What one generation calls strength, the other calls emotional avoidance. And honestly? They might both have a point.

The generational divide around emotional expression has never been more apparent. Boomers grew up in an era where “toughing it out” was the gold standard of resilience. Gen Z, on the other hand, treats vulnerability like a superpower and therapy like a gym membership for the mind.

After spending years bouncing between both worlds (and yes, working with a therapist myself after my startup crashed and burned), I’ve noticed some fascinating patterns. Here are eight things that perfectly capture this generational split.

1. Never crying in public

Remember when crying at work was career suicide? Boomers still do. They view public tears as a sign of weakness, something that undermines your credibility and professionalism.

Gen Z? They’re livestreaming their mental breakdowns and getting millions of views. They argue that crying is just your body’s way of processing emotions, and suppressing it is like trying to hold in a sneeze. Sure, you can do it, but why would you want to?

I used to be firmly in the “never cry at work” camp. Then I watched a colleague tear up during a team meeting while explaining how overwhelmed she felt. Instead of losing respect, she gained it. Her honesty opened up a conversation that led to better workload distribution and a healthier team dynamic.

The truth is, emotions don’t disappear just because you refuse to show them. They just find other ways to leak out, usually at worse times and in worse ways.

2. Handling everything alone

“I don’t need anyone’s help” might as well be the Boomer generation’s motto. They pride themselves on self-reliance, viewing asking for help as admitting defeat.

Gen Z treats support like a team sport. They crowdsource advice on social media, share therapists’ contact info like restaurant recommendations, and normalize having multiple support systems.

After my startup failed, I spent months trying to figure everything out alone. Classic mistake. It wasn’t until I finally started talking to other entrepreneurs who’d been through similar experiences that I realized how much energy I was wasting reinventing wheels that had already been invented.

Independence is great, but interdependence is how humans actually thrive. We’re social creatures, not lone wolves, despite what those motivational posters might suggest.

3. Working through pain or illness

Boomers wear their “never missed a day of work” badges with pride. Sick? Pop some painkillers. Burned out? Push through. Mental health day? What’s that?

Gen Z calls this toxic productivity. They argue that working while unwell isn’t heroic; it’s harmful to both you and your coworkers. They prioritize rest as part of performance, not a break from it.

I’ve been on both sides of this one. There was a time when I’d brag about working through a fever. Now I realize that those “heroic” days probably cost me weeks of subpar performance afterward. Your body keeps score, whether you acknowledge it or not.

4. Keeping family problems private

In Boomer households, family issues stayed behind closed doors. Therapy was for “crazy people,” and airing family dysfunction was considered betrayal.

Gen Z shares their family trauma like recipe tips. They’re in therapy unpacking generational patterns, setting boundaries with toxic relatives, and building chosen families when biological ones fall short.

This shift isn’t about oversharing or attention-seeking. It’s about recognizing that pretending problems don’t exist doesn’t make them go away. It just ensures they get passed down to the next generation, gift-wrapped in dysfunction.

5. Staying in bad relationships

“We stuck it out” is a phrase you’ll hear from Boomers describing marriages that probably should have ended decades ago. They see endurance as commitment, even when it means enduring misery.

Gen Z treats relationships like they treat jobs: if it’s not serving you, it’s okay to leave. They prioritize mental health over longevity, viewing staying in unhealthy situations as self-harm, not strength.

There’s something to be said for not giving up at the first sign of trouble. But there’s also wisdom in recognizing when you’re watering dead plants. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is walk away.

6. Not talking about money struggles

Boomers would rather eat ramen for a month than admit they’re struggling financially. Money problems are seen as personal failures, shameful secrets to hide at all costs.

Gen Z posts about being broke with the same casualness they post their morning coffee. They share budgeting tips, negotiate salaries publicly, and treat financial literacy like a community project.

This transparency around money has been game-changing. When we stop treating financial struggles like moral failures, we can actually start addressing the systemic issues that create them.

7. Dismissing mental health concerns

“Just think positive” was the Boomer generation’s answer to depression. Anxiety? Stop worrying so much. ADHD? You just need discipline.

Gen Z treats mental health like physical health. They have therapists, psychiatrists, and TikTok educators. They know their attachment styles, trauma responses, and coping mechanisms better than their multiplication tables.

I spent years intellectualizing my emotions instead of actually feeling them, thinking I could think my way out of feeling bad. Spoiler alert: you can’t. Mental health is health, period. Ignoring it doesn’t make you strong; it makes you vulnerable to bigger crashes down the line.

8. Never admitting mistakes or failures

Boomers built entire personas around never being wrong. Admitting failure was seen as weakness, something that could destroy your reputation forever.

Gen Z celebrates failure like it’s an achievement. They share rejection letters, document their mistakes, and treat failure as data rather than defeat.

When my first startup failed, I wanted to hide under a rock. But talking about it openly became one of the most powerful things I’ve done. It connected me with other entrepreneurs, taught me that you can do everything right and still fail, and showed me that failure doesn’t have to define you.

Finally, the bridge between generations

Here’s what both generations might be missing: strength isn’t about suppressing emotions or expressing them. It’s about understanding them and choosing how to respond rather than just reacting.

The Boomers aren’t wrong that resilience matters. The ability to persist through difficulty, maintain composure under pressure, and solve your own problems are valuable skills. But Gen Z isn’t wrong either. Emotional awareness, vulnerability, and seeking support aren’t weaknesses; they’re tools for sustainable success.

I’ve mentioned this before but real strength might be knowing when to push through and when to rest, when to be vulnerable and when to be stoic, when to seek help and when to rely on yourself.

The healthiest approach probably lives somewhere in the middle. Feel your feelings, but don’t let them control you. Ask for help, but develop self-reliance too. Be vulnerable, but maintain appropriate boundaries.

Because at the end of the day, whether you’re processing your trauma on TikTok or suffering in stoic silence, we’re all just trying to figure out how to be human in a complicated world. And maybe that’s something both generations can agree on.